Hi! My name is Isaac Privett and here I am getting out into the world, exploring new things, and establishing the identity I will have for the rest of my life. I am starting this blog to inform people about the trials and tribulations of growing up in todays world and making decisions that will affect me for years to come.

:: Friday, March 21, 2003 ::

Inconsiderate Smokers

I am at a college with an amzing high percentage of people that smoke. I think it is like 70% or some rediculously high number. I don't mind people smoking at all. If they want to kill themselves just for a little nicotine, thats their choice. I do mind, however, them killing me in the process. I don't smoke and don't plan on it, yet they all smoke in the public areas that I have to travel through to get to class or other destinations. This really annoys me. Do they not have enough consideration for other people that they can move to some place that isn't a main traffic spot? Second-hand smoke is just as bad as smoking and some studies have said that it is worse. It makes sense since the filter isn't there to protect the people that are walking past the smoker.

I have recently developed what people call the "smoker's cough" from having to walk past people that smoke all the time. For those who do not know what I am refering to. A "smoker's cough" occurs when the smoke for cigarettes paralyze the cilia that are in your windpipe. When your cilia is paralyzed you no longer can use them to move mucus from your windpipe to the places that it needs to go. You start coughing to try and take place of the cilia. Anyway, I have never taken a puff of a cigarette, but yet my health has been comprimised by other smokers. This has got to stop! I shouldn't have to worry about me dying of lung cancer because other people are being inconsiderate of their smoking.

I am not talking about just my school either. I am talking about every public place. Should a law be implemented to protect me from being exposed to other people's smoke unwillingly? I think so. I can't walk around holding my breath forever. I think that it should be illegal to smoke in any public place. People shouldn't have failing health just because other want to smoke. I don't want to smoke and I shouldn't have to. Either outlaw cigarettes in general or make it illegal to smoke anywhere except designated smoking areas away from the general populace. I don't care which one it is. Something needs to be done!
:: American-N-Canada 12:45 AM [+] ::
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Emotional Wreck

Well, today it hit me. So far I really have done well and being on my own hasn't seemed to affect me to any substantial degree. I haven't let my emotions get the best of me until today. Today it seemed to hit me from every angle and everywhere I turned I would get hit by something new. I don't know if today is the first day that I have been honest and stated my true feelings. I usually keep my emotions locked up inside a box and choose not to acknowledge them. After a while it seems that I forgot all about them. However, today was different. Fear, sadness, jealousy, loneliness, you name it and today I have felt it. The fear seems to start the whole train wreck of emotions.

Today I was afraid of the uncertainty of growing up. I hate not knowing what will happen. I usually think things through to the entirety before I jump right into something. This helps me determine what will happen in the end and I feel much better knowing what will happen. At the moment there is so much uncertainty in what will happen in my life. This terrifies me. I don't know who I will be after I am done with all my schooling and join the professional world. I don't know who my friends will be in the end. I don't know where I will end up living. I don't know what exactly I will be doing after school. Last I don't know what everyone will think of me when this thing is all over. Will people remember me as a real nice person that they really enjoyed knowing or will I be known as some horrible person that just screwed everything up? I have no idea how it will all end and every decision that I make can affect the rest of my life. This all really scares me and I really miss the days of certainty.

The sadness and the loneliness seemed to come together because they spawned for the same area. Me being up here far away from what I love and was very familiar with is most likely the hardest thing that I have ever done. It takes a ton of willpower to actually not let this affect you enough to where you won't be able to perform. I am very saddened that I can no longer do the things that I once did. I used to go to high school everyday and talk to my friends and ultimately had a very good time. I used to play soccer and enjoy the comradery of the other ten people that you shared when you were on the soccer field. Those ten people would be the elements that would dictate success or failure. I am also lonely because I do not have the friends that I loved so dearly here to share this experience. They were there for most of my great life experiences, but now they aren't here for one of the most important.

The jealousy that I feel I will no go into much detail because I am so ashamed that it even has come up. I have never felt so bad about anything ever in my entire life. Here I am jealous of another person because they have what I do not. The horrible thing is that they don't really have it because as soon as I go home it is mine. I feel so ashamed for being jealous because the person that I am jealous of is a real cool person and I like them very much

Sorry for me rambling on about something that isn't very important. Hopefully soon I will gather up all these emotions, lock them back up in their box, and throw away the key. However, I would like to thank some people right now. I have taken many people for granted in my life and I feel horrible for doing so. First of all I would like to thank my mother for being a guiding light in my life and shinning through the fog. I would like to thank my step-dad for being the best dad anyone could ask for. You have gone beyond what you had to do and you still support me through these hard times. I would like to thank my older brother for being the coolest person I know and showing the love that you do. Next person I need to thank would be my two best friends. Erica you have stuck with me through it all and never judged what I have done one instant. Adam you have been my best bud. We have been through a lot so far and hopefully when you get back tot he states we can have some fun and you can tell me all the interesting things about Europe. There are many others that I have taken for granted in my life and have never showed my gratitude for. People such as my step-dad's side of the family and the more direct family that I have descended from. I would like to thank everyone who has been there and apologize for taking you for granted. I actually cried for the first time in years when I thought of all the things that I have taken for granted. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I wrote this last paragraph. I hope that I will no longer take for granted all the people that I still know. I hope that I get the chance to tell you how much I have appreciated the things that you have done for me. One chapter has ended in my life and I hope that the next chapter will be as wonderful as the first.

:: American-N-Canada 12:40 AM [+] ::
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